The Curse
by anniegirl132
Summary: The Akatsuki upset the wrong person and are punished by the jutsu she cast on them. Konan thinks it's funny, but to the guys of Akatsuki it's more like a curse. genderbend. Rated T for language. No yuri or yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! So how's it going? I realized I haven't written a humor in a while then got the idea for this, so I hope you enjoy it! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.**

* * *

"I will defeat you, just you wait!" A purple haired woman ranted, shaking her fist threateningly.

"Yea, you and what army!?" Hidan taunted through his laughter as the rest of Akatsuki broke out into loud snickers.

"Shut up! I don't need an army to take you down!"

They all broke out into more loud laughter, infuriating the girl even more. They had just been out on their monthly picnic forced them to have to "bond as a family" as he put it. But it's not like the leader ever bothered to show up to these picnics he made them have. Hypocrite...

'I'll show you!" she began making rapid handsigns as the group of nukenin continued to mock her. She finished it off with the sign for bird before shooting a large laser like beam at them. They held up their arms to block but lowered them slowly once they noticed nothing had happened.

"Ha! Looks like you..." Hidan never finished his sentence for he promptly collapsed onto the ground, the other members following soon after.

"Tch, I told you I'd defeat you'" the girl scoffed, before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

* * *

"What the..." Sasori muttered, pushing himself off the ground into a kneeling position. He glanced to the side and saw his partner lying face down about a foot away.

"Hey brat, get up," he grumbled, reaching out and shaking the blonde's shoulder lightly. The blonde's eyes opened and Deidara slowly began to get up off the ground.

All of the other members also began to wake up around that time. Then a loud girlish shriek pierced the air. Everyone's heads turned toward Deidara and their eyes widened.

"Hidan, look at your chest, yeah!"

"Why don't you look at yours!"

They both let out high pitched squeals when they looked down to see they had apparently become girls. The others also began to freak out when they realized they too had suffered the same fate. Except Sasori and Itachi, they managed to keep up a calm facade and instead just panicked on the inside.

"Senpai, what's on Tobi's chest?" The masked ma- woman asked, pushing her chest up.  
Deidara, choosing not to answer, wrapped her arms around herself blushing madly.

"Dammit, I already get mistaken for a girl enough, now I actually am one, yeah!" she whined.

"Why is this happening!?" Hidan growled, stomping her foot.

"I think it was that strange girl's jutsu," Itachi spoke up.

"Imma kill her!" Hidan yelled, clenching her fists, fire burning in her eyes.

"First we should just go back to the base and see if leader-san can fix this jutsu," Sasori said.

"No! We need to catch that little bitch before she gets away!"

"Shut up Hidan," Kakuzu said, grabbing the zealot by her, now slightly longer, silver hair.

"Ack, let go you bastard!" She hissed, stumbling along behind her partner.

"Senpai, you never answered Tobi!" The masked girl whined. "What are these?"

"Geeze, don't ask me something like that, yeah!" Deidara snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Why not?"

"Just shut up."

"Itachi-chan, will you tell Tobi?"

"No."

"Awwww, why won't anyone answer Tobi?" She whined, and they could all hear the pout without having to see it.

"Because you're annoying, now shut the hell up!" Hidan snapped, hitting Tobi over the head with her scythe. Tobi squealed as the scythe passed through him and ran to her senpai, hiding behind her.

"Get off, yeah!" Deidara yelled, shoving Tobi away. They stayed silent through most of the trip back to the base, save for a few annoyed grumbles and curses from Hidan.

"We're here," Kisame spoke up as they reached the large mountain that the Akatsuki base was built into.

"Finally," Sasori muttered.

"Hopefully leader-san can reverse this jutsu, yeah," Deidara sighed as Kisame preformed the proper handsigns so they could enter. Once the large boulder blocking the entrance moved away, they all walked inside before it slid back in front of the entrance behind them. The group trudged through the halls until they reached the leader's office. Kisame stepped up and knocked on the large wooden door.

"Leader-san, we kinda have a problem," she said. The door opened and he raised an eyebrow as he saw what his members had become.

"What the hell happened to you guys?" He asked, looking a bit too closely at their chests.

"That's not their eyes!" Konan snapped, coming up behind him and whacking him in the back of the head.

"Some crazy bitch used this weird jutsu that turned us into girls," Hidan explained.

"Oh... Well what do you expect me to do about that?"

"How about reversing the jutsu dumbass!?" Hidan snapped.

"Hey, that is not how you speak to your leader! I expect to be treated with respect!" He growled, glaring at the albino.

"Tch, dream on..."

"Why you-"

"Pein, why don't we get to work on reversing this jutsu?" Konan suggested.

"But-"

"Now."

"Okay." They both went back into the office, leaving the rest of the Akatsuki out in the hallway.

"Well now what?" Kisame asked, looking around at the other members.

"I guess we just wait..." Kakuzu said.

Annoyed at the thought of having to wait, Sasori huffed and briskly walked down the hallway toward her and Deidara's room.

"Ah, Danna wait up, yeah!" Deidara called, rushing after her. After that the other members soon dispersed, going back to their respective rooms.

(With Hidan and Kakuzu)

Hidan paced around the room, angrily muttering curses under her breath. Kakuzu sat down at her desk, undoing the five locks and two seals on one of the drawers before pulling out a little pouch full of money and beginning to count it. Hidan let out a lot screech and threw her scythe across the room where it implanted itself in the wall.

"You're paying for the repairs," Kakuzu said without looking up from her money counting.

"Oh come on Kuzu, it isn't that bad," Hidan huffed, rolling his eyes, and walking over to the wall to yank the weapon out.

"You're still paying for it."

"Dammit..."

(With Sasori and Deidara)

"I can't believe that bitch! I already get confused enough for a girl and now... now I actually am one, yeah!" Deidara yelled as she paced agitatedly around their room.

"Mhm,"

"And not only that, but now even more of those perverts that lurk around town are going to attack me even more, yeah! I won't even be able to leave the base without having to deal with that!"

"Mhm."

"And you're not even listening to me so I'm pretty just much talking to myself at this point, yeah," Deidara sighed.

"Just calm down brat, leader-san and Konan are finding a way to fix this right now," Sasori said, glancing up from the puppet she was working on at her partner.

"But what if they don't find a way to fix it, yeah? What if it takes years!? What if-" Deidara collapsed onto the ground as the sedative coated senbon Sasori threw hit her in the arm.

"Finally, peace and quiet..." The redhead sighed contentedly, going back to working on her art.

(With Kisame and Itachi)

"It sure feels weird Itachi-chan," Kisame mused, looking over herself.

"Indeed," The raven replied, from where she sat on her bed, boredly reading through a book.

"I wonder how long we'll be stuck like this..."

"Leader-san is finding a way to reverse it."

"I hope I can still use Samehada," Kisame said, looking at her beloved sword leaning against the wall next to her bed. She walked over to it gripping the handle and carefully lifting it off the ground, though with a lot more difficulty than normal.

"It's definitely harder to pick up," she muttered, experimentally swinging it, having to grip it with both hands so it didn't go flying across the room.

"I'm sure leader-san and Konan will fix this soon."

"You're probably right Itachi-chan," Kisame agreed, nodding her head and propping Samehada back against the wall.

(With Pein, Konan, and Zetsu)

"Zetsu, go gather some information on what this jutsu is exactly," Pein ordered Akatsuki's spy.

"Yes leader-san."

"Thank God we didn't get caught in that jutsu..." Black Zetsu muttered as he merged into the wall and disappeared. Pein took a moment to also be thankful he wasn't turned into a girl like the rest of his members. Konan on the other hand, stood next to Pein's desk where he sat thinking about how hilarious this situation was. She couldn't wait to see how they would all handle being girls.

"Hey Pein, how do you think they're doing?" she asked, thoughtfully tilting her head to the side.

"I'm sure they're fi-" a loud screech sounded through the base.

"fine," Pein finished, looking back down at his paper work.

"I think I'm gonna go check on them," Konan said, walking towards the door. _This'll be fun_, Konan grinned, almost evilly, as she left the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much to 17stepsdown for the review, I really appreciate it! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters**

* * *

Konan happily skipped down the hallway, stopping at the first room she came across. Itachi and Kisame. She brought up her fist and knocked on the door. Itachi opened up the door, giving her a questioning look.

"So, how are you two doing?" She asked.

"Fine," the Uchiha answered.

"Except it's pretty hard to lift Samehada now," Kisame called from somewhere in the room.

"Oh."

"So is there a reason you needed us Konan?" Itachi asked.

"Oh no reason really," she said smiling.

"..."

"..." An awkward silence passed as Konan stood there grinning from ear to ear while Itachi tried to figure out what exactly she was doing at her and Kisame's room.

"Well, I guess I should be going," she said finally after a few minutes of the awkward staring contest. Itachi nodded and closed the door.

"Man, he- well she, sure looks different as a girl..." Konan muttered as she made her way down the hallway to the next room.  
She knocked on the door, once again grinning in an almost creepy manner.

"Yes?" Sasori asked, opening the door. Konan could hear Deidara ranting from somewhere in the room about Sasori not listening to her and then knocking her out.

"So, how does it feel to be a girl?" She asked.

"Different." Suddenly Deidara shoved Sasori to the side.

"How long will it take to fix this jutsu?" She asked.

"We sent Zetsu out just a few minutes ago to get some more information on it," she answered. Sasori shoved Deidara to the ground rolling her eyes as the blonde let out a loud squeal.

"Is there anything else you needed?" She asked.

"No, nothing really. I just wanted to see how everyone was doing," she smiled, as he closed the door on her.

"One more room," the bluenette hummed happily , walking down the hall to Kakuzu and Hidan's room.

"What is it?" Hidan growled, swinging the door open only seconds after she knocked.

"Just wondering how you two were doing."

"Shitty," she frowned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, that's too bad..."

"Are you mocking me?" She asked, her eyes narrowing.

"No of course not," Konan assured him. She glared at her, trying to figure out if she was lying to hem or not before finally giving up with a sigh.

"Did you need something else?" She asked.

"Nope, I'll just be going now," she said, going back down the hall to Pein's office. They may be fine now, be she couldn't wait to see how they would deal with being girls later on. It would be hilarious. She entered Pein's office to see him still focusing on the paperwork scattered about his desk.

"Gosh Pein, you need to focus on something besides that paperwork," she sighed.

"You know I can't, it's important I finish it," the ginger said, shaking his head.

"But you never spend any time with me.." She murmured looking down sadly. That was another reason she thought it'd be fun having the other members as girls, even if only temporarily. It would give her someone to talk to her who would actually have a chance of understanding her. Pein was pretty oblivious so it would be nice to have some other girls to talk to for a change. She was startled from her thoughts when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her.

"You know I like to spend time with you, but I really need to finish this work. I promise we can do something once I'm done, okay?" He said, giving her a quick kiss on the lips before going back to his desk to continue working. Konan, blushing madly, left the room, deciding to watch some TV in the living room while she waited for him to finish.

She sat down on the large couch, avoiding the bloodstains (courtesy of Hidan), and picked up the remote off the coffee table. She began flipping through channels, eventually deciding on some chic flick she'd seen a few times. It wasn't her favorite movie, but it was pretty good.

After a while Itachi and Sasori came in and took seats next to her. Neither of them said a thing but she assumed their partners must have gotten on their nerves, as they tended to do. But she didn't really mind them being in there with her. As the two quietest members of their little dysfunctional family, they were the two who constantly just wanted to find some place peaceful and quiet. But after a few minutes the peace was broken when Deidara and Hidan entered the room, having a rather loud conversation.

"Well it may not happen to me as much as you blondie, but I've been confused as a girl more than once."

"Well you're lucky, it happens to me like twenty times a month, yeah!"

"You're exaggerating brat," Sasori said, smirking at her partner's ticked off expression.

"Well anyways, now that we actually are girls think of how many of those damn bastards are gonna be hitting on us now," Hidan said, plopping down on the couch next to Sasori.

"Oh God, I don't even want to think of that, yeah," Deidara groaned, seating herself next to the albino. It was quiet once again for a while before Deidara opened her mouth.

"What are we watching, yeah?"

"It-"

"Oh Jashin, it's one of those damn chic flicks," Hidan shouted, wide eyed. "Shit, I can't stand these things! They're so damn girly!"

"Oh come on Hidan, they aren't that bad, just give them a chance," Konan said.

"No I hate these-"

"Give, them a chance," Konan repeated, glaring darkly at the Jashinist.

"Fine…."

"So what's going on?" Kisame asked, not quiet understanding why the guy shown on the screen at the moment was screaming like a lunatic and holding up a chicken. Konan sighed and paused the show.

"That's Fredrick. And the chicken is his diseased ex-wife's mom's pet who she left her fortune to after she promised it to him."

"So she left her fortune to a chicken?"

"I told you these things were shit!" Hidan stated.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up Hidan?"

"Bitch, I-" Hidan's head was promptly ripped off her body and thrown out the window.

* * *

"Now are we going to behave ourselves Hidan?" Konan asked, smiling a sickly sweet way.

"Yeah…." She mumbled, refusing to look at the bluenette.

"Good," Konan pressed play and the strange movie continued. After a few minutes, the others found themselves growing strangely interested in it. But they would never admit it out loud; these movies were for girls. Which they were now…

"Fredrick, please don't do this, I love you!" Fredrick's not-really-dead ex-wife begged on the screen, latching onto Fredrick's arm.

"No, Martha, I can't do this anymore!" he shouted, throwing her off.

"Bastard," Hidan muttered, glaring at the screen.

"Oh Fredrick, please!"

"He's not worth it, yeah," Deidara huffed, shaking her head. Konan had to hold back a laugh as she noticed how interested the others had become in her "girly" movie. It was kind of nice not being the only one interested in these things for once. Pein walked in the room, interrupting the movie and was met with loud protest from Hidan.

"Hey come on, we were watching that dammit!"

"Shut up Hidan. Now, despite the situation, work still has to get done. So tomorrow all of you are going on mission," Pein announced.

"I can't go out in public like this, yeah," Deidara argued, glaring at the leader.

"Too bad. You and Sasori will be gathering some info in Kusagakure. Itachi and Kisame, you're getting a scroll from Tanigakure. Kakuzu and Hidan, you have an assassination in Ishigakure," the leader explained, handing each team a scroll with more information on their missions.

"Now, any questions?"

"Why the hell-"

"Good," Pein cut Hidan off, then swiftly left the room.

"Asshole."


	3. Chapter 3

The Akatsuki members all grouched quietly as they tiredly left the base that morning, before the sun had even risen. Even the loudest members were too tired to protest about the early missions. At least for now. Back in the base the leader and his angel were having a peaceful and quiet breakfast together.

"So Pein, why did you send everyone out on missions today?" Konan asked, shoving a forkful of pancakes into her mouth.

"So I could have some peace and quiet to do my work for once," he replied. Konan couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed. Here they were all _alone_ in the base _together___for a whole day, maybe even two or three, and he was going to work. Not spend time with her or even just relax, but focus on that stupid paperwork which seemed to consume all of his time.

.

.

Itachi sighed silently, following behind his partner down the forest path. She was in no mood to be on a mission today. Being turned into a girl was bad enough as it is, but now having to go out in public. What if someone she knew saw her? What if that person was Sasuke? Her younger brother would never let her live it down! Any tiny amount of respect he had left for her would be gone!

And if it was someone else, her name as an Uchiha would be disgraced for eternity. No longer would Itachi be one of the most feared criminals in history, instead she'd be a laughing stock. The Uchiha who'd gotten himself turned into a girl.

"Is something wrong Itachi-chan?" Kisame asked.

"No." Itachi nearly cringed at the way her voiced sounded higher-pitched than she was used to. Then again, everyone's voice sounded that way. But they weren't Uchihas! They didn't have a reputation to worry about! Well most of them didn't…

"Ah, I need to take a break," Kisame said, sitting down on the ground. She took Samehada off her back and set the sword down next to her as Itachi also took a seat. "It's a lot harder to walk with Samehada now…" she mused.

"Maybe you should put her up," Itachi suggested.

"Up!? Like- like in a sealing scroll?" Kisame asked, aghast.

"Yes, if it's too heavy for you-"

"That doesn't matter Itachi-chan! I can't lock my baby up in one of those... _things_!"

"Kisame, it is just a sealing scroll. Your sword will be fine."

"Samehada isn't just a sword Itachi, I can't do that!" Kisame exclaimed, shaking her head. Itachi took a deep breath and mentally counted to ten before speaking.

"Kisame, if you can't even travel for than half an hour before needing to take a break then I think you should put the sword up so we can get this mission over with!" the Uchiha's voice had risen to an almost shout by the end of her sentence.

"Fine…" Kisame conceded, clearly at least a little scared by her partner's slight loss of composure. After a few words and apologies to Samehada, Kisame sealed the sword into a scroll and they were once again walking down the path.

.

.

Sasori enjoyed the silence as she walked alongside her partner who was, thankfully, too tired to bother talking her ear off. And it was hard getting the blonde to shut up considering how distraught she seemed to be since they'd been turned into girls. Personally, while Sasori was annoyed, she didn't feel as upset as everyone else seemed to be about the situation.

"Daannaaaa," Deidara whined finally, apparently mustering up enough energy to speak, "Can't we just go back to the base, yeah? I'm tired."

"No brat, we have to do this mission."

"But why does it have to be so early in the morning, yeah?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask leader-san."

"But he's so mean, yeah. He'd just yell at me…" she pouted. Sasori though after that she may get some quiet but of course, she was wrong.

"Hey danna, where do babies come from, yeah?" Sasori nearly choked on her own spit.

"Why the hell would you ask me that!?" Sasori yelled.

"Just curious," Deidara shrugged.

"Don't you already know brat? You're like what…"

"Nineteen, yeah."

"Nineteen. You should know that by now."

"Well no one told me!" she snapped. "So where do they come from, yeah?"

"Uh, well…. Babies come from…." Sasori did not want to talk about this. It wasn't that Sasori didn't know, but it was supposed to be Deidara's parent's job to tell her those things! But then again, most members of Akatsuki didn't really have parents growing up…

"I'll tell you when you're older." As Deidara's older brothe- uh, older sister figure/partner Sasori decided the best thing to do would be to preserve the blonde's innocence for as long as she could.

"Oh come on danna, just tell me, yeah!"

"No."

"But-"

"No. End of discussion."

"Hmph. Jerk…"

.

.

"What the hell is Pein's problem anyway? Sending us all out on these damn missions like this?" Like really, what is wrong with him?"

"I don't know Hidan, like the last twenty times you've asked me! Now shut the hell up!" Kakuzu shouted, smashing her fist down on Hidan's head.

"Ow, you bastard! That hurt!" Hidan whined, rubbing her head. "Besides, you can't tell me you aren't at least a little ticked off."

"I am, I just don't bitch about it like you do," Kakuzu muttered, rolling her eyes. Hidan let out an outraged shriek and tackled Kakuzu to the ground, viciously yanking on her hair. They rolled around on the ground, clawing at each other and both attempting to rip the other's hair out. Finally, getting a bit to annoyed at her partner, Kakuzu ripped Hidan off of herself and threw the albino into a tree.

"Oowwww! What the hell is your damn problem you asshole!?" she tried to sound angry, but it came out as a whine.

"I should be asking you that! You're the crazy bitch who attacked me," Kakuzu huffed.

"Well excuse me! You're the one who insulted me first!"

"That's because you're annoying!"

"No you are!"

"Bitch."

Hidan tackled her again

.

.

Konan sat on the couch, boredly watching sappy romance movies with a box of chocolates in hr lap. Pein had been in his office all day, not even coming out for lunch, which she had to bring to him. Really she felt like more of an assistant than his girlfriend. They never spent any time together and the guy was anything but romantic.

She sighed, popping a chocolate in her mouth. She scowled as the guy in the movie she was watching told his "love" that they'd be together forever.

"Don't bet on it," she muttered bitterly. Really, these movies were becoming depressing for her. She tuned the TV off and sighed, laying back on the couch. Yeah, Pein was so hopeless, but for some reason she loved him anyways.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello guys and gals! How's it going? I've made this chapter a bit longer than usual so I hope you like it! :)**

**. . . . = timeskip**

**.**

**. = POV change**

* * *

Deidara grumbled moodily under her breath as she stalked through town. She and Sasori had split up to gather information quicker so she was alone at the moment. Honestly, she thought this mission was just plain ridiculous. They were gathering information about a scroll, so at a later date Pein could send one of them out to retrieve said scroll. It was incredibly boring. And not only that but everywhere she went she could feel people staring at her.

Deciding she was tired of wandering the streets looking for information, she entered a small café. It was almost lunch after all. She bought a cup of tea and some dango before sitting down at a table in the back near a window. Though it wasn't long before she noticed some guy, who looked a few years older than her, pull up a seat next to her.

"Can I help you, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"What are you doing here all alone baby?" He asked, smirking.

"Excuse me?"

"A pretty woman such as yourself-"

"Are you drunk, yeah?"

"Yea, I'm intoxicated by you," he leaned closer. '_What the hell!? Is this guy serious?_' Deidara thought.

"I'm not interested, yeah."

"In being just friends? I agree," he leaned even closer. Deidara kicked the chair out from under him and watched with satisfaction as he fell flat on his face. But much to her dismay he got up, continuing to smirk at her.

"I like it when they're hard to get," he licked his lips. Deidara abruptly stood up and dashed from the café. This guy was a total creep!

"Hey wait up!" he called, running after her. _Oh shit!_ She sped up but couldn't seem to lose the weirdo. Then spotting someone familiar, she hid behind her.

"Sasori-danna! That creepy guy was flirting with me, yeah," he said, wearily watching the guy approach.

"Can't you ever stay out of trouble brat?" she sighed.

"Oh is this your-" the guy was cut off when Sasori punched him in the face, sending him flying through the window of a nearby shop.

"Thanks danna!" she grinned, relieved at not having to worry about the creepo anymore.

"Really, why didn't you just blow him up? Isn't that how you usually deal with those people?"

"….Good point, yeah…"

They had to flee from the area to avoid enemy ninja soon after Deidara blew up the shop, but it was worth it.

* * *

Deidara had no idea why, but she'd had cramps all day. Only now did it begin to feel as if someone was repeatedly stabbing her in the stomach with a knife.

"Why is this happening to meee, yeah!?" she whined, burying her face into the pillow where she laid on her stomach on one of the beds in the hotel room she and Sasori were staying in. Despite the destruction Deidara had caused earlier that day, they'd managed to escape the enemy ninja and still manage to get a room in a hotel.

"What are you complaining about now brat?" Sasori sighed.

"It huuurts, yeah!"

"Quit being a baby. I'm sure whatever it is, it's not something to fuss over."

"You don't know how I feel, yeah!"

"God, you sound like a teenage girl…"

"I am a teenage girl, yeah!"

"Quit being so damn annoying!"

"But it huuuurttss, yeah!" she whined, writhing on the bed to further express her agony.

"It's too late for this… Just go to bed already!" Deidara childishly stuck her tongue out at Sasori before, storming off to the bathroom adjacent to their room to take a shower. But as she glanced in the mirror she noticed a large red stain and let out a scream so loud it was sure to break the eardrums of anyone within a ten mile radius. Sasori burst through the door in the next second.

"What are you screaming about!?"

"I-I'm d-dyyyying yeah!" the blonde sobbed, wrapping her arms around herself.

"What do you mean you….." Sasori then also noticed the large red stain and also began to panic slightly.

"What did you do!?"

"I-I don't knooooowww! I d-don't wanna diiiee yeah!" Deidara cried.

"Ah shit… Just come on, I'm sure they have a hospital around here somewhere," Sasori grabbed Deidara's wrist and dragged her out the room. She didn't really have any medical knowledge so this seemed like the best option. Besides, what village didn't have a hospital?

.

.

Elsewhere Kakuzu and Hidan were having a similar problem. But Hidan, used to bleeding all the time anyways wasn't all that worried. And having five hearts, Kakuzu wasn't very concerned either. After all they still had an assassination mission to complete which meant more money for Kakuzu and a sacrifice for Hidan.

"Come on Kakuzu, why won't you just tell me why the hell we're bleeding? You're like what, a hundred something? Shouldn't you already know shit like that?"

"I'm not _a hundred something_, you idiot. And why would you expect me to know anyways? Are you admitting that I'm smarter than you?"

"Hell no! I just figure a weirdo like you would know weird stuff like that," Hidan smirked.

"Tch, says the bitch who believes in some fake-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence you bastard or I swear I will murder your ass!"

"Who doesn't even have the brain power to solve even the simplest of problems," Kakuzu changed her insult, deciding she'd rather not hear Hidan go into a five hour religious rant.

"Excuse me!? I am way smarter than you!"

"You don't even know what 2 + 2 is," Kakuzu shook her head derisively.

"So!? Why the hell would I need to know shit like that!?" Hidan snapped.

"Maybe if you knew it you wouldn't be such a dumbass," Kakuzu rolled her eyes. Honestly, why did Pein have to partner her with such a neanderthal?

"You're the dumbass, dumbass! You don't even know why the hell we're bleeding even though you're like a thousand years old! I bet if I was that damn old I'd at least know the answer to something easy like that! And-" Kakuzu, growing increasingly annoyed with her partners ranting decapitated her with her own scythe.

"Hey you bitch! Put my head back on! Don't walk away! Where the hell do you think you're going!? Bastard, get back hear you damn prick! Are listening to me!?"

* * *

"Is that him?' Hidan asked her partner. After a while Kakuzu had finally come back and reattached her head and before they'd even reached the village they found this guy who very closely matched the one in their mission description. And now they were hiding in a small cluster of bushes waiting to murder him.

"Yes. Try not to destroy his face at least; I need to bring him in to the bounty office for money."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Kakuzu sat back and watched semi-amusedly as Hidan scared the guy so bad he nearly wet his pants then attempted to cut his head off but missed and instead got her scythe stuck in the trunk of a tree.

"Hey get back here! You damn pansy!" the albino shouted, chasing after the man who'd attempted to run away. She tackled him to the ground and tried to hold him still, screaming expletives all the while, so she could pull out a kunai to stab him with.

"Hold still so I can kill you asshole!" she attempted to stab him with the kunai she'd managed to pull out but he moved his head just before it could hit him. She went to try again but was stopped by someone grabbing her arm.

"I told you not to ruin the face," Kakuzu said.

"Well this kunai is too small to cut his head off," Hidan growled, trying to yank her arm away.

"Just use your scythe."

"My scythe is stuck in that tree you blind asshole!"

Kakuzu glared before kicking Hidan into the same tree where her scythe was stuck and tying the guy up with her strings before he could escape.

"You bastard! What the hell is your problem!?" Hidan screamed, storming over to her partner angrily, scythe now in hand. She took a swing at the guy but Kakuzu move him out of the way.

"Let me kill him!"  
"No. I get more money if we bring him in alive."

"This is a damn assassination mission! There's no living in that!"

"Oh well."

"Let me kill him!" Hidan took another swing at the guy only to miss again.

"No," Kakuzu said simply. Hidan let out an enraged shriek and for the second time that mission, tackled Kakuzu to the ground, both of them attempting to rip the other's hair out once more.

.

.

Kisame, upon discovering that his partner was bleeding and not knowing why, insisted that they immediately head back to the base. She was also bleeding herself but since they were no going back to the base it didn't really matter.

"We're going to fail the mission," Itachi stated sullenly, he arms folded across her chest.

"Itachi-chan, this could be serious, it's better if we just go back to the base."

"Pein is going to be mad…."

"I'm sure he'll understand."

"Since when did he understand anything," Itachi muttered.

"Aw don't be like that… Oh, and just let me know if you need to stop or start feeling bad."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Itachi asked, a hint of annoyance slipping past her calm façade.

"Well I just don't want anything to happen to-"

"Are you implying that I can't take care of myself Kisame?" though her voice remained mostly calm, a dark glare had settled on the raven's face.

"Of course not!" Kisame quickly said, beginning to feel nervous. It was _never_ a goo thing when Itachi got angry. "I j-just worry sometimes and-"

"_I_ can worry about myself, understand?"

"Itachi-chan," Kisame began, nervously running a hand through her hair, "as your partner I think I have a right to worry."

"Oh you think so?" Itachi snapped, her voice raising ever so slightly.

"W-well, yes, I…" Kisame froze, noticing the way her partner grit her teeth as her glare darkened.

"I…"

"Let me tell you Kisame, I am in no way weak nor do I need any protection from you and I am perfectly capable of taking care of my-" Itachi let out a very undignified squeal as she was yanked a little over ten feet into the air by a wire trap that had wrapped around her ankle.

Kisame covered her mouth with a hand, barely able to hold back a few giggles as her partner dangle upside-down looking completely surprised and befuddled.

"Need any help Itachi-chan!?" she called merrily.

"…No…" Itachi growled, though there was no way for her to get down. Her kunais and shuriken had all fallen out of their pouch when she was turned upside-down and her fire jutsus couldn't burn through the wire. Besides, even if they could it would probably end up burning her foot off as well.

"Oh, okay! Well I guess I'll be going then," Kisame waved, snickering under her breath and beginning to walk off. She hadn't made it ten feet when Itachi spoke up.

"Wait!"

"Yes?"

"I… I need you to…"

"Yes Itachi-chan?"

"J-Just help me down already!" she finally blurted, before mumbling a quiet please. Itachi hated asking for help. It just wasn't something Uchihas did.

"Oh I don't know- okay, okay!" Kisame yelped, deciding she would stop teasing before she had to suffer Itachi's mangekyo. She pulled out a kunai and jumped onto the branch the wire Itachi was dangling from was tied too. She easily cut through the wire and Itachi gracefully dropped to the ground.

"Now what do you say?" Kisame asked, jumping down to the ground.

"….."

"Itachi-chan…"

"Thank you," Itachi sighed, looking away. Kisame smirked.

"Okay, let's keep going," she cheerily declared beginning to walk again, Itachi quietly following behind.

* * *

**I hoped you liked it, and please leave a review, I'd really appreciate it. ^_^**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone! You guys are really awesome and I want to thank you for all of the follows and favorites I've been getting for this story. ^_^**

**Well, I hope you like this chapter.**

* * *

Pein's was extremely confused as all his members shouted at him and he had no idea what was going on. He had just been sitting peacefully in his office when all his members arrived back from their missions at the same time and immediately began screaming about… well he wasn't quite sure what.

"We're all bleeding for no reason!"

"I'm dying, yeah!"

"What's going on!"

"I this gonna cost us any money?"

"We may not have much longer to live…."

"You have to help us!"

Konan walked into the room at that moment, took one look at the members of Akatsuki then began to laugh. They all glared at her and she calmed down quickly.

"Pein, I need you to go to the store and pick up some supplies."

"What do you mean?"

"_Those _supplies."

"Huh?" Konan rolled her eyes and stalked up to Pein, yanking his head to her level by his ear and whispering something to him.

"Oh… Oh! What, no! I can't do that, that's embarrassing!"

"I don't care. _Now go_. I need some too." She said, giving him a shove before going to explain what was happening to the confused girls. Pein grumbled moodily under his breath as he left his office. How could Konan ask him to get _that?_ He'd gotten it for just her before, and that was awkward enough, but when he was shopping for six more girls as well, well this level of embarrassment might just kill him.

People practically jumped out his way as he stormed down the streets of Ame with growing dread at the mortifying shopping trip he was about to live through. He slammed open the doors of the supermarket, attracting a few more stares than he would have liked, and roughly grabbed a shopping cart, storming towards the feminine hygiene section.

He awkwardly avoided the gaze of the two teenage girls already in the aisle even though he could clearly hear them giggling. He quickly threw about ten packs of pads into the basket.

"Those all for you?" one of the girls called, causing them both to giggle madly.

"No! They're-"

"Oh no need to explain!" the first girl's friend cut him off, "I just hope you're getting enough!"

He blushed a deep shade of red and stomped out of the isle, going to the nearby candy isle. He put all the chocolate bars in the isle into the basket before going to the frozen section and filling any remaining space in the basket with half-gallon containers of ice cream. Finally, having gotten everything he needed, he headed toward the checkout counter. The lady there raised an eyebrow as she rang up his items.

"Gee, how many girlfriends do you have?" she asked.

"…just, don't ask…"

"What, they're not for your girlfriends? Sisters then?" Pein chose not to answer to save himself from further embarrassment and just hurriedly paid for his items.

He left the store laden down with bags and relieved that the whole experience was over. Honestly, how could Konan do this to him? Sure, they hadn't been spending as much time together as they used to, but he didn't think that was any reason for her to make him go through that. That was terrible! He could never show his face in that store again!

'_They'd better appreciate this,' _Pein thought as he entered the base. Yeah, he didn't close the boulder that sealed off their home built into a mountain, but he didn't think anyone was stupid enough to enter a place full of s-class criminal hormonal girls. Especially when there would be no escape once they were inside.

Pein walked into the living room, unceremoniously dropped his bags on the floor next to where the girls were seated in a circle giggling about something.

"I'm back."

"CHOCOLATE!" Pein was nearly trampled as everyone raided the bags for anything chocolatey. Seconds later they were back in their little circle continuing their conversation while happily munching on their chocolate.

"So uh… What are you guys talking about?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing," Konan said flippantly, waving her hand in a shooing motion.

"As your leader I demand you tell me," he frowned. How dare they exclude their leader like this.

"No," they responded simultaneously. Pein gaped, before stomping from the room.

"Finally, he's gone. Shall we continue girls?" Konan said a few seconds later.

"Yea. So how are things going with Pein?" Itachi asked.

"Fine."

"Are you sure, yeah?" Deidara asked, tilting her head to the side.

"...no," Konan admitted with a sigh.

"What's wrong?" Sasori asked.

"Is he hurting you?" Kisame added, a concerned look on her face.

"Leader-san is hurting you!?" Tobi gasped.

"No! well…. not exactly. He's just so dense sometimes," she huffed.

" What the hell did he do?" Hidan spoke up, looking slightly annoyed.

"It's more like what he doesn't do. We used to do everything together but recently it feels like he doesn't have any time for me."

"That's terrible, yeah!" Deidara exclaimed.

"What's his problem?" Kakuzu growled.

"You should always make time for those you care about," Itachi added quietly.

"He's just really busy," Konan said, feeling some need to defend her boyfriend despite the fact she agreed with them completely.

"Tobi understands. Since Tobi isn't a full member yet she can't go on missions with Zetsu-san so she has to stay at the base alone a lot," Tobi admitted, placing a hand on Konan's shoulder. "But at least Zetsu-san has a good excuse. What is leader-san's?"

"Paperwork," she grumbled. Strange how such a simple thing could do this to her relationship.

"That's pretty damn stupid," Hidan snapped.

"He really is an idiot," Sasori sighed, shaking her head disappointedly.

After that they all went into an uproar about how much of a douche Pein was which lead to complaining about more than just how he treated Konan. That is until Pein walked into the room to see what the commotion was about. And boy did he regret walking into the room.

"What the hell is wrong with you asshole?" Hidan snapped, storming across the room to him, the others minus Konan following close behind to crowd around their leader.

"Wait, wha-"

"Shut up bastard!" Kakuzu growled.

"How could you treat her like that, yeah?" Deidara accused.

"Tobi thinks you should be a better boyfriend," Tobi agreed.

"Hey, I-"

"And it's not just that! How much of an insensitive asshole can you be!?" Kisame snapped.

"Ordering us around like we belong to you, who do you think you are?" Sasori hissed.

"I'm-"

"And you're always leaving your shit everywhere yet when I leave one damn shirt or something on the floor you throw a hissyfit," Hidan cut him off.

"You're not better than us so you should stop acting that way," Itachi growled.

"I-"

"And you never-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP INTERRUPTING ME DAMMIT!" he hollered. Tobi and Deidara promptly burst into tears at being yelled at. Then Konan got up, stalking across the room to Pein.  
"Don't you _dare_ raise your voice at them," she hissed, slapping him across the face. Hard.

"K-Konan, I-"

"Silence! I am sick and tired of your patronizing attitude! How you're always telling us to act like a family but you're just a damn hypocrite! How you just order us around when we aren't your slaves!"

"But I never do those things to you!"

"I don't care! Akatsuki is like a family to me and I don't like how you treat them!"

"Just calm down Konan, I-"

"I will not calm down!"

"Konan please, I promise, I can change. I can-"

"I have been waiting for you to change for the past three years and nothing has happened. You know what? We're through."

"Wh-what!?"

"We are through." A dead silence filled the room as Konan glared at Pein and he stared at her in disbelief. Tobi and Deidara had calmed down by now and everyone else's anger was all but forgotten as stared on in shock.

"Very well…" Pein murmured, turning around and slowly walking from the room, back to his office.


	6. Chapter 6

"Why did I do that?" Konan sniffed, burying her face in her hands to hide her tears.

"It's okay Konan, I think he deserved it, yeah," Deidara said, wrapping an arm around her.

"The bastard was way out of line," Hidan agreed.

"But I didn't want to break up with him. I-I don't know why I said that…" she said, removing her face from her hands and using her sleeve to wipe away her tears. "I should go apologize…" she sighed, beginning to get up.

"No," Itachi grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down. "He's the one who needs to apologize to you."

"He needs to be the one to ask you to come back," Sasori added.

"I don't think he'd do that. He didn't even try to argue when I said we were through.

"Trust me he cares. I was a guys up until these past few days, so I'd know," Kisame assured her.

"If you all say so…" she said, though she didn't entirely believe them. Pein wasn't very good at reading people's emotions which made him quiet the jerk at times. Not to mention having way too much pride and taking himself way too seriously. She just couldn't see someone like him apologizing, even when he was in the wrong.

"Maybe you should just both talk it out," Itachi suggested.

"But he still needs to be the one to apologize first." Hidan stated.

"Yeah, I'll try that," Konan got up, making her way to Pein's office.

(elsewhere)

Pein sat at his desk, glaring at the wall. He couldn't believe it. Konan had actually broken up with him. He just really couldn't understand this. Sure, he'd snapped at everyone and upset some of the younger members, but that couldn't be the only reason. Maybe it had something to do with what everyone had been yelling at him about.

Something about being a bad boyfriend? But what exactly had he done to make her think that way!? He never yelled at her, even if he did get angry at the other members. And he certainly never physically harmed her. So what exactly had he done to upset her so much?

"Pein." He looked up to see Konan stepping into his office.

"Konan." He stood up from his desk, walking around the desk to stand in front of her.

"We need to talk."

"Why are you upset with me?" he asked. That's all h needed to know. If he could just find that out he could fix this problem.

"…" Konan sighed. "You never pay enough attention to me," she sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're always cooped up in this office doing your stupid paperwork!" she snapped.

"I…" he trailed off. '_So that's what this is about?'_ he thought. "You know it need to get done."

"You never take any breaks and because of it we never spend any time together," she said, frowning. Pein, swallowed his pride. Clearly he need to apologize or this problem would never be fixed. And not only that but he would also need to fix this problem. He reached out and cupped her cheek with his hand.

"I'm sorry," he kissed her softly on the lips. When he pulled back her face was red as a tomato. "I never realized this was upsetting you."

"I-It's fine…"

"No, we do need to spend more time together. I promise, I'll try and spend less time working he smiled. She smiled back and they were about to kiss again when someone clearing their throat interrupted them.

"Is this a bad time?" Zetsu asked.

"Yes." Pein answered.

"Well I have some information on that person who changed everyone into girls," white Zetsu said. **Unless you wanna finish making out**," black Zetsu snickered.

"What's the information?" Pein sighed. He did want to finish up his moment with Konan, but this was more important at the moment.

"She was spotted in Konohagakure, **so we'd better hurry before the bitch leaves**," Zetsu said.

"Very well. Thank you Zetsu. Go and notify everyone else. We leave first thing tomorrow morning."

"Yes sir."

.

.

"I'm glad we'll finally get back to normal," Deidara sighed contentedly. They were all seated in a circle once again, minus Konan this time. Her and Pein were having some alone time, but Zetsu had joined them. And he'd told them about the fact they would be leaving early the next morning so they all wanted to look perfect for the mission.

"Yeah… Hey, I have an idea," Kisame said. They all looked at him. "Let's paint each other's nails!"

"That's a great idea!" everyone but Zetsu agreed. He sat there in confusion as they all ran off, coming back a few seconds later carrying various colors of nail polish.

"Can Tobi paint yours Zetsu-san?" Tobi asked, sitting in front of him.

"Uh sure I guess. **No! I don't want to do something so girly!"** black Zetsu disagreed.

"Please! Tobi promises she'll make the extra pretty!"

"**I said no!** Sure Tobi."

"Yay!" Tobi grabbed a bright shade of neon pink and grabbed white Zetsu's hand, beginning to paint his nails. Zetsu mentally cringed at the atrocious color but let Tobi continue.

"Is this color good, yeah?" Deidara asked, showing Sasori a dark reddish-purple color.

"Sure brat, looks pretty. What do you think about this?" She showed the blonde a dark blue.

"Perfect, yeah."

"Hey Itachi-chan, want to try red?" Kisame asked.

"Yes, that is a very pretty color. How do you feel about this yellow? I think it would match your eyes."

"You think?" Itachi nodded and began to pain her blue partner's nails.

.

.

After their nails had dried they had moved on to doing each other's hair. Sasori was currently doing her partner's hair in an intricate braid while the blonde tried to get the tangles out of Hidan's hair. While ignoring the pain that felt like having her hair ripped out, Hidan was attempting to tie a pink bow on Itachi's second pigtail. Itachi in turn was giving Kakuzu dreadlocks, thinking they would looks "absolutely gorgeous" as she had put it. Kakuzu was curling Kisame's hair while the shark like woman was straightening Tobi's black locks.

While her hair was being done, Tobi was happily putting pretty flowers, neon pink hair clips, and handful after handful of glitter on Zetsu's hair. The plant man didn't very much appreciated the terrible work, but decided it was better than yelling and having Tobi cry with no way to shut her up. No one needed that headache.

"We're going to looks so great tomorrow," Kisame sighed happily.

"Bitch please, we'll be fabulous," Hidan corrected, getting murmurs of agreement from th others.

"You guys-"

"Ahem!"

"…girls do realize that you'll look different- **ridiculous-** once you turn back into boys, right?"

"We won't look ridiculous Zetsu-san, we'll look super cute," Tobi said, throwing another handful of glitter on his head.

Zetsu sighed in barely restrained frustration. "**We'll look the most ridiculous of all**," black Zetsu grumbled.

* * *

**I'm sorry, I know I was a little late updating this! But, I hope you liked this chapter, hopefully I'll be able to get the next one up sometime this week. Thank you for reading, and please leave a review if you want! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to everyone for the reviews, favorites, and follows, I really appreciate the support! :)**

* * *

It was before sunrise when the Akatsuki left the base, heading out towards Konoha, and no one was very happy about it.

"Why couldn't we at least have eaten breakfast before we left?" Itachi asked.

"Eat while you walk, we need to get to Konoha as quickly as possible," Pein said, snacking on a piece of toast. He was the only one who'd actually brought breakfast with him. Itachi gave a sideways glare at the leader, huffing. It was bad enough she had to go back to her home village for this little trip, but now she had to be hungry too. And it seemed she wasn't the only one.

"I don't even want to hear that you bastard! You didn't give us any time to even take a damn breakfast with us!" Hidan snapped.

"Hey you could have-"

"Let's stop at a tea shop, yeah," Deidara suggested.

"No, we don't have time for that," Pein shook his head only to be met with much protest a second later.

"Pein, let's just stop, there's a tea shop only ten minutes from here," Konan said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Fine," he sighed. As soon as they got in everyone crowded into one of the booths, looking pretty squished.

"Hello, what can I get for you?" a young waiter came and asked.

"Dango…." Itachi said.

"Ten plates of it," Hidan added.

"What are you thinking!? Do you know how much money that'll be!?" Kakuzu yelled.

"Well we all need to eat!" Hidan shouted back.

"I don't-"

"And bring us ten cups of tea also," Konan said.

"Okay, I'll-"

"No! We're spending too much money!" Kakuzu cut the waiter off.

"Would you shut up about the damn money!" Hidan snapped.

"Why you-"

"Maybe we should just calm down," Kisame suggested.

"Don't you tell me to calm down!"

"Hey there's no need to yell at me!"

"Just stop it! I'm hungry and don't want to wait for you to stop arguing, yeah!"

"Shut up bitch!"

"Excuse me, yeah!?" The table erupted in screams and curses as they all argued with one another, prepared to take out their weapons.

"Hey!" Konan shouted, drawing everyone's attention. "How about we get five plates of dango you can all share and ten cups of tea?" Kakuzu opened her mouth to protest but stopped when she saw Konan's glare.

"Fine," she grumbled.

"Okay. That'll be all for us," Konan smiled at the frightened looking waiter.

"R-Right," he scurried off to go get their order.

"You guys are so embarrassing," Pein grumbled, earning several glares from around the table.

"Oh shut up Pein," Hidan rolled her eyes.

.

.

"We've been walking for hours, when can we take a break, yeah?" Deidara whined.

"Tobi's feet hurt," the masked girl added.

"We can't take too many breaks if we want to make it to the village before nightfall," Pein growled. He had already told them this _ten_ times.

"So we can't take any breaks, yeah?" the blonde pouted.

"Correct. And stop complaining, the village is only a few hours away."

"Ugh, you're worse than Sasori danna, yeah…"

"What's that supposed to mean brat?" the redhead asked.

"You never let me stop for break just cause you aren't human so you don't need to stop, yeah."

"So?"

"Please don't start fighting, I think we've all done enough of that lately," Konan said, giving the two a stern look.

"Fine…" A silence fell over the group.

.

.

"Well it's about damn time," Hidan grinned as they approached the village.

"How are we going to get in without them expecting anything?" Tobi asked their leader.

"Well first you should all remove your cloaks-"

"Pervert!"

"-because people would recognize them. But other than that I don't think they'd expect anything since you're girls now… Just go through the front gate and Konan and I will sneak in another way," he finished. The girls took off their cloaks and Pein sealed them away in a storage scroll before him and Konan left to find a way into the village. The rest of the Akatsuki continued to the village gate and had only just made it through when they were stopped.

"Halt!" They all froze and slowly turned to face the guards.

"Yes?" Itachi said, looking completely calm on the outside.

"You need to tell us why you're here and how long you're staying," one of them said.

"Oh… well we'll only be here for a few days and we're here to… uh," Kisame faltered.

"Go shopping, yeah," Deidara said. They all nodded, giving the guards cheesy fake smiles.

"Okay, enjoy your stay!" they called, allowing the group to enter.

"This place used to have such a better security system," Itachi sighed, shaking her head.

* * *

**Sorry this chapter was late, but I hope you liked it, hopefully the next chapter will be longer. Please leave a review if you can, I would really appreciate it. ^_^**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone! Sorry for the late update, I had final exams at school last week, but now it is summer for me so I got this done. :)**

**Warning: some cursing**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters**

* * *

"Ugh, this is so damn boring," Hidan grumbled as she and Kakuzu walked down one of the village's many busy streets. After meeting up with Konan and Pein, they'd all been told to search the village or the girl who placed this jutsu on them. Hoping to get this over with as quickly as possible, they'd split up into pair to wander the place. Yet so far, she and Kakuzu had found nothing.

"Do you ever not complain?"

"Shut up bastard…." right as she finished her sentence Hidan was knocked to the ground by a green blur.

"Ah, I apologize for running into you!" the person immediately said getting up and holding out a hand to help her up. Ignoring the hand, Hidan got up and glared at the boy. He wore a green polyester suit, bandages on his hands and arms, had a bowl cut, and some of the bushiest eyebrows she'd ever seen. What a weirdo…. Suddenly the weirdo's eyes, widened and his face reddened slightly.

"Y-you are beautiful! Please go on a date with me!" he bowed.

"W-wh-what are… what do- hell no!" Hidan sputtered glaring at Kakuzu's obvious laughter.

"Oh my mistake. You don't even know my name, I'm Rock Lee," he grinned, giving Hidan a thumbs up. "So, now will you please go on a date with me?"

"I already said no you bastard!" Hidan yelled.

"Please!" Rock Lee pleaded.

"Heh, I'll give you and your boyfriend some alone time," Kakuzu smirked, walking off.

"He's not-"

"Just give me a chance to show you my youth!"

"What is that even supposed to mean!?"

"So you'll go out with me!?"

"Hey, I-"

"Yosh! Let's go for a youthful 100 laps around the village," the flamboyant boy exclaimed, grabbing Hidan's hand and dragging her off.

.

.

"You know, you're not very youthful," Lee chuckled, handing Hidan one of several water bottles he kept on himself. Hidan snatched the bottle from him and hungrily drank the water. It really wasn't her fault she'd only made it to the 50th lap! They were going really fast paced and she hadn't had a lot of time to do training with her current situation. That was all, she was plenty youthful!

"What is it with you and youth?" Hidan would have stopped this date earlier, but she realized that was impossible without killing this guy, and they weren't supposed to draw attention to themselves because that would compromise the mission, and she really wanted to get back to normal. Being a girl was weird, and there was too much emotion.

"Youth is important! That's what Gai-sensei always says," the strange boy said with stars in his eyes.

"I'm plenty youthful because I'm immortal," Hidan scoffed.

"Then let's do another 200 laps!" he exclaimed, grabbing Hidan's hand and dragging her off.

. . . . .

Kakuzu boredly trudged through the village, in a bad mood from watching all these crazy people waste their money on frivolous things for the past hour. Suddenly a bright red sign hanging in the window of a nearby clothing shop caught her eye.

"Sale?" Well, Kakuzu never could pass up cheap clothes. She walked into the store, noticing more bright red signs hung up around the store, some advertising discounts of up to 90% off. She reached for a dark red blouse only to have a pale hand snatch it up before she could touch it. She glared at the woman who had the garment of clothing clutched to her chest.

"Excuse me, but I was looking at that," Kakuzu's eyes narrowed.

"Yea, well I grabbed it first!" the woman, who had on way too much makeup in Kakuzu's opinion, huffed with a disdainful look.

"Bitch," Kakuzu muttered, before stalking off to find something else. That lady was not worth the fight.

Something else caught her eyes. A beautiful green dress in her size. Not only was it the color of money, but it was also 90% off! She charged across the store and grabbed the dress, only to be startled by a sudden shriek behind her seconds later.

"Hand that over now!" A short pudgy woman pounced on Kakuzu's back.

What? Get off me!" she threw the woman off her back.

"Um, ma'am," A timid looking employee said, tugging on her sleeve.

"What!?" Kakuzu snapped. The small man eeped and held up his hands defensively.

"I-I have t-t-to ask you t-to l-l-leave," he stuttered, beginning to panic when Kakuzu's glare darkened.

"I-it's just- just that you'recausingadisturbanceandithinkyoushouldleave!"

"Excuse me?"

"You- you're causing a disturbance a-and you need to leave…." His voice got quieter with each word.

"Fine, but I'm taking _this_ with me," Kakuzu strutted out of the store with the dress she knew would look absolutely gorgeous.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone! See, I still got this out on time even though I've been pretty distracted watching One Piece... I hope you like this chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters**

* * *

Itachi slunk down the street, trying to hide behind her much larger partner. Being in her old hometown only made her nervous… If someone were to recognize her, she may not be able to avoid a fight, and that could mess up the mission.

"Itachi-chan, you don't have to hide behind me, no one would recognize you as a girl," Kisame said, looking over her shoulder at Itachi.

"You don't know that Kisame…"

"Don't worry Itachi, it'll be fine," her partner reassured.

"Fine," she stepped out of hiding and fell into step next to Kisame, looking around cautiously. So far, only Kisame was getting a few looks because of her blue skin, but thankfully, no one had recognized Itachi yet. That's not to say she didn't recognize anyone.

"Sasuke!" she cried, running up to the smaller Uchiha and pulling him into a big hug. The boy squirmed, trying to shove her away.

"Ack, who the hell are you, let me go!" the Uchiha shouted in hopes the woman would listen or maybe someone would help. But the villagers viewed it as just another fangirl attack and ignored Sasuke's cry for help.

"Itachi, you're drawing too much attention," Kisame whispered to her partner.

"What!? Ita-"Itachi clamped a hand over her little brother's mouth and nodded, before dragging the Uchiha into a nearby alley wit Kisame following behind.

"I'm going to kill you!" Sasuke hollered once Itachi removed his hand, taking out a kunai. Itachi quickly disarmed him before removing his weapons pouch and passing it to Kisame.

"Oh Sasuke it's been so long! How've you been?"

"What kind of question... is... that," Sasuke stared wide eyed at his broth- sister's (?) chest. A hand slapped across his face.

"My eyes are up here Sasuke. When did you become such a pervert? Have you been hanging out with Jiraya?"

"What!? No! Why are you a girl!?" Sasuke sputtered, finding the whole situation rather hard to comprehend.

"Not important. So how have things been going?" she asked.

"Oh, well my parents are dead and all I live for is revenge but other than that pretty good," Sasuke rolled his eyes with a scowl.

"That's so nice to hear!" Itachi smiled, making Sasuke jump back in surprise. Since when did _the_ Itachi Uchiha _smile_!? He was broken from his shock when he heard a certain pink-haired kunoichi calling his name.

"Who is that Sasuke?" Itachi asked, looking out the alley at a girl looking around calling his name.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Kisame asked.

"No!"

"Of course not! My sweet little brother can do way better!" Itachi looked absolutely affronted.

"Hey, she's not that bad..." Sasuke grumbled, the faintest of blushes tinging his cheeks.

"I can't believe it!"

"I know Itachi-chan, it's soooo obvious!" Kisame cooed.

"Sasuke, do you have a crush on her?"

"What, no!"

"Well you're never going to get a girlfriend with that attitude," Itachi sighed at her hopeless younger sibling.

"Girls don't like a guy who denies them like that," Kisame shook her head.

"I'm leaving," Sasuke growled and attempted to get up only to Itachi grab him and throw him back to the ground.

"No! Kisame and I are going to give you some relationship advice that you clearly need. First, you need to cut that hair, maybe something that looks a little less like the rear-end of a duck."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"And you need to open up more, girls love it when you express your feelings," Kisame added.

"And you definitely need a new wardrobe, I swear, you were wearing that same shirt the last time I saw you Sasuke," Itachi sighed. '_He's so hopeless'_ he though.

"Hey cut it out! I don't need your advice! All the ladies _already_ love me," Sasuke scoffed.

"Prove it."

"Huh?"

"Go ask that girl you're clearly crushing on out. Right now," Itachi said, shoving Sasuke out the alley. She and Kisame watched eagerly as Sasuke talked to the pink haired girl, looking incredibly awkward. After a few moments he came back to them.

"What did she say?" Itachi asked.

"She said yes..." Sasuke said, blushing.

"Perfect, now let's go fix you up for your date," Kisame grinned.

"Wait, but that's not until tonight!"

"Exactly!" Itachi grabbed his wrist and dragged him off. They first stopped by the salon, where Sasuke lost his duck-butt hair in turn for something shorter and much better looking. Next, they stopped by a clothing store where Itachi and Kisame spent an hour lecturing him on fashion and made him try on at least 20 different outfits. Finally though, they were done and Sasuke was ready for his date.

"Now go on," Itachi waved as Sasuke walked down the street.

"Ah... I'm going to miss him," Itachi sighed sadly.

"It's okay Itachi-chan, we can visit him later once we reverse this jutsu," Kisame assured.

"Yeah."


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for the late update! It's because I had the outline for all the rest of the chapters **_**except**_** this one, so it took a bit longer, and ended up a bit shorter. :(**

**Hope you like it!**

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"Look at that awful pink hair, what kind of fashion choice is that, yeah?" Deidara wrinkled her nose at the girl walking down the street a few feet away.

"Very unartful," Sasori agreed.

"Like that crazy yellow dress Kakuzu was wearing the other day, yeah?" the blonde snickered.

"Definitely not her color," Sasori shook her head in agreement. They continued wandering around the village, making comments occasionally when they saw people with particularly outrageous fashion. After a while, their conversation turned to gossip about their fellow Akatsuki members.

"Did you know that Itachi's been secretly stalking his younger brother when he has a mission around here, yeah?" Deidara snickered.

"Wow... I think i saw Hidan dying her hair a few days ago.

"I knew that couldn't be natural! Hey wait a moment... Hidan told me that you said my hair wasn't natural, yeah," Deidara frowned.

"It isn't."

Deidara gasped at her partner's accusation. She stopped walking turning to face Sasori with a glare. "Well your hair can't be natural either, yeah!"

"Please brat, how many people do you see with blonde hair like yours?" Sasori huffed.

"More people than I see with red hair, yeah," she stuck all three of her tongues out.

"Well that just means my hair is more rare _and_ artful than your hair," Sasori tugged on Deidara's fringe. Deidara smacked her hand away, huffing.

"It would be if it was natural, yeah!" she yelled. Their argument was beginning to attract quite a few odd stares, but they couldn't care less at the moment.

"It is you brat! You're the unnatural one!" Sasori gave Deidara a shove. Deidara stumbled back a bit before letting out a screech and tackling Sasori to the ground. Sasori grabbed Deidara's hair and yanked on it viciously while Deidara dug her nails into Sasori's arms, both of them screaming insults the whole time. A much larger crowd had formed and began chanting, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

They rolled around on the ground until they got to the edge of the hill like area they were on and tumbled down it until they splashed into the shallow pond below. They both sat up in the water, glaring at each other. Then Deidara began to tear up.

"How could you call me unnatural, yeah?" she sniffed. Sasori frowned, her glare melting away.

"I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings brat, I was just responding to what you were saying," she reached out and placed a hand on her partner's shoulder.

"Well you did hurt my feelings, yeah!" Deidara snapped, shrugging Sasori's hand off.

"Well you called me unnatural to!" Sasori glared. Deidara began to cry.

"Look... I'm sorry okay?" Sasori grumbled, looking away. Her partner sniffled a little.

"I'm sorry too danna..." she reached out and hugged her partner. Sasori patted her on the head before pushing her away.

"Come on, let's go find somewhere to change out of these wet clothes."

"Okay, yeah!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone! So sorry for the late update, I got caught up working on another fanfic and watching Attack on Titan and Kuroko no Basuke... Well, I hope you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters**

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Konan and Pein had been trying to have a romantic date, but it was interrupted when Pein spotted their target.

"Hey you!" he charged at the girl.

"There were more of you?" she groaned, recognizing the design on his cloak.

"Konan, get the others while I deal with her," Pein ordered. Konan sighed and did as told.

"Now answer me, why did you turn my organization into girls!?" Pein shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the purple haired girl.

"They asked for it," she sneered.

"I doubt they asked you to turn them into girls," Pein rolled his eyes.

"Well I'm sure they appreciate it now, being a girl is awesome," she smirked.

"Maybe for them, but they're driving me crazy, change them back!" Pein crossed his arms over his chest, doing a very leader-like pose. A few moments later, the rest of Akatsuki arrived.

"Change us back bitch!" Hidan hollered upon seeing the girl.

"I thought you would have learned some respect, _bitch_. But I suppose I can do that, but first there's something all of you need to do," she smirked slyly, a strange light coming into her eyes.

"What is it?" Itachi asked, eyeing the girl cautiously.

"You all know Naruto Uzumaki, correct?" she asked.

"The jinchuriki!" Pein hollered.

"Yes, shut up. Well, you must all propose to him, and whoever he agrees to marry, I will change back," she smiled.

"Why!? I don't want to marry him!" Deidara protested.

"That would be creepy," Kisame, Kakuzu, and Sasori shook their heads.

"Fine, fine...," she sighed, "you each may choose who you propose to, and if you can get them to say yes, then I'll turn you back."

"I don't want to be married to a damn guy though..." Hidan frowned.

"Too bad, it's the only way I'll turn you back. And so, the Akatsuki remained as girls for the rest of their lives. Or at least they would have, but Pein wouldn't allow it.

"Look, there has to be another way, I am not letting them stay girls forever. They're annoying enough as boys, I don't need any more drama," Pein growled.

"Gosh, fine! You people are impossible," she huffed, "you don't have to actually marry them, just get them to say yes."

"Alright... I guess we can do that," Kakuzu muttered. And with that, they all set off in pairs- because Pein insisted- to find someone to propose to.

.

.

.

Hidan dragged Kakuzu around until she finally spotted that weird guy who had previously forced her on a date. The guy was sure to say yes to a proposal, even if his ring was plastic because Kakuzu was too cheap to allow anything else...

"Rock Lee!" he hollered, dropping to one knee. "Will you marry me?" he held out the ring.

"Well you are very un-youthful..."

"Marry me bitch!"

"B-but I am saving myself for Sakura-chan," he shook his head. Hidan leapt up and grabbed the youthful Leaf ninja's hand, forcing the cheap plastic ring onto his finger.

"Say yes dammit!"

"O-okay, fine! I am sorry Sakura-chan..." he mourned. A poof of smoke later and Hidan was back to his man self. Kakuzu had her own approach to proposing.

"Marry me or die," She held a kunai up to the poor stranger's neck.

"O-o-o-ok-k-k-ok-ay!" the man stuttered, trembling terribly in his sandals. And Kakuzu was once again a man.

.

.

.

Sasori and Deidara had each made their own special ring in a way they felt was most artful. Sadly, Deidara could not make her ring explode as Sasori had warned her that it would lead to a definite no. And Sasori, being the impatient pers- puppet she was, decided to propose first. She chose a man that had round shades and some kind of bandanna covering his hair.

"Marry me," she held the ring in front of his face.

"W-well you are quite pretty, but I'm really into older women." He smiled awkwardly.

"I'm 35," Sasori said with a blank face.

"Deal." And Sasori was once again a boy, leaving the poor heartbroken man behind. Deidara, also wanting to get it over with, approached an extremely pale kid with black hair and eyes.

"Hey, will you marry me, yeah," she flashed him a smile, holding out the ring.

"You do remind me of someone... very well," he smiled, accepting the ring. Strangely, he didn't seem all too surprised when Deidara changed back into a boy, but thankfully didn't push the subject of marriage.

.

.

.

With her exceptional beauty, Itachi was sure anyone she asked was sure to say yes to her proposal. But she didn't want to ask just anyone. No, she had always imagined proposing would be a more special occasion, so she at least wanted the guy to seem like a fitting match. Even if they weren't really getting married. Kisame had already returned to his usual self after much asking and then threatening.

Itachi spotted a man across the road... He was tall, handsome, strong looking. Perfect.

"Excuse me, I would like to ask for your hand in marriage," she held out a beautiful diamond ring she had stolen from a jewelry store on the other side of the village.

"No," the guy began to walk off. Itachi gaped, no quite believing the man had actually turned her down.

"You don't seem to understand. _Will you marry me?_" Itachi held a kunai against his throat.

"B-but, I'm already married!"

"Say yes."

"Okay! Yes."

"Thankyou very much," now back in his male self, Itachi walked off, highly satisfied.

.

.

. After meeting back up again, the Akatsuki began the trek back home, somehow managing not to be recognized by anyone in the village during their time there. But there was still one question bothering a few of them.

"Tobi... how did _you_ get a girl to say yes to you?" Deidara furrowed his eyebrows, looking over at the masked man.

"Tobi just asked, senpai. It isn't that hard," he giggled. Deidara scowled and took a moment to question the sanity of the citizens of Konoha. Pink haired weirdos and people who accepted proposals from the likes of Tobi. What a strange place it was...

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**That's it, I hope you liked it! And please leave a review if you can. ^_^**


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